Saturday
Dipping, swirling, rising, swooping, cleaving (clave), cleaving (splitting), falling, bending, grabbing, dropping into a maelstrom of emotional permutations without rhyme or reason in clattering moments of adjuncts to the tick tock of life bruising me up. I sat at the end of this evening's Vigil Mass and saw. I have seen. Life is a lesson. A young woman born with celebral palsy has, now, multiple sclerosis, and defended her right to life, in a radio interview created to explore the move towards euthanasia. Her life is another lesson for my life.Long ago, in the heat of confrontation, I heard teenagers declaring that they didn't ask to be born, as they threw their existence back in their parents' faces. ( Not my teenagers! ) Well I've got something to say back at them. I didn't ask either. No, not that I didn't ask for those teenagers to be born, but I didn't ask to be born! So what's your point, you snotty little mouth with a brain well hidden?
I now know I do not have the right to be warm, comfortable, fed, watered, healthy in wind and limb, sufficiently heeled to fear no poverty. Life is a lesson. The clarity of the objectivity as the 'lesson' was recognised showed me another path. It's the same path, track, mountain trail, which must be viewed with detachment. I'm back to me and ME. The self and the objective Self. The life lived within and the life viewed from without. Discarding selfish aspirations of material comfort, leaves the self to take a simpler, less confrontational stance and gait, on the climb towards, and into, self awareness.
Hope for the best, expect the worst, expunge judgemental Attitude. The Lesson continues 'til I die. My death and yours are inevitable. The Lesson is the only truth that we need. To hold my life before me , like a buffer against the clanging strifes of this world, and maintain my distance from behind, above and within, as me parries and deflects that, which ME can now see, in the round, must surely be a lesson worth the effort? Why can't words illuminate the clarity of this moment? The 'thought fog' is descending yet again. It is tiredness. I'll stop.
posted by john @ 10:33 pm
3 Comments:
Hi John~
This reads like a battle cry :o) There is power in facing challenges with an attitude of being thankful to be alive, no matter the struggles. And facing adversity with a winning attitude and a big stick, no matter how many stumbles that may come.
I have no doubt YOU will prevail!
master of my fate,
captain of my soul,
Laurie
No, John, we never asked to be born, but we ask, and rightly so, to live on. We exist ourselves, though on the surface of a water moved by winds stronger than us. We stumble through our foggy days, but at least they are our days.
Death will be inevitable, and if we keep our eyes and ears open for the world, we're taught this lesson in the rudest way every day. But before the inevitable end, we have the chance to make a difference to those around us. And when the bell hath tolled, some will prevail in the loving memories of many.
You made a difference for us, and you will keep on doing so. I have no doubt about that.
Let's continue our lessons now.
tom
I say thank you for creating me, each day. I say thank you for giving me this day. I say thank you for allowing me in, each day.
What I am trying to achieve is the 'comfortable' distance between me and Myself. Not as a dual personality. Not as a mental abberation. Simply as someone who can step back at every opportunity and view, guage, assess, that which is happening. Whether it be of the physical world we each live in and/or the conscious world within which, we are each enclosed, in our seperate individuality, (Well ! I got to use 'duality' and wasn't expecting that ) or as part of a groundswell of emotion, which influences us without our being aware of the strength of that influence. Subliminal, could describe the exterior influences, but I want to step back enough to espy the subliminal.
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