Intransit

Wednesday evening

Shit happens. Is it Sleep Apnoea, (possible diagnosis by my GP) or Glucose Intolerance or both? This day has seen me laid low and prostrate with no bloody energy at all. I hate this friggin shell that my mind must inhabit. The appointments with experts in their seperate fields cannot come soon enough. I have no idea if my 'mood' is still lifted. The total lack of any energy at all renders me inert. Diabetes has been discounted, but any sugar/chocolate/glucose/syrup, will send me to horizontal lethargy for hours.
You have run a ten mile race, your legs are so heavy and depleted of strength that you cannot lift them, staying awake takes a concerted effort, that is what it feels like.
I can only wait and let this draining of my forces pass. Yesterday evening was such a joy! This opportunity to write allows me to focus on my condition and is not a place to bewail my state. This is how it is. Shit.
Was I premature in my excitement? I can only continue to wait.

posted by john @ 6:26 pm 0 comments

Tuesday evening

Suddenly, very suddenly, unbelievably suddenly, my mood lifted 20 minutes ago!!!! I do not know why. It happened. It changed. I have been dragging myself along the deepest sediment of the filthiest pond in the darkest forest for weeks, months. Felt like bloody years. In my time it was bloody years. In your time, dear reader, a month or two. The trap door crushing my brain from above has exploded outwards. I'm free. Dear God, may it be for a while.....please. I'm leaking tears of relief.
What the hell caused this sudden change????????
I have an appointment with a Bipolar Expert soon. Please let him know his stuff!!
Is all for now. May tomorrow be wildly sane, please, please, please..............

posted by john @ 10:05 pm 1 comments