Intransit

Sunday

It's been a bit of an upside down week. I've had to sleep on the sofa for a few nights because of the breathing dificulties caused by dust in the bedroom. I vacuum the linen every day to get rid of dust and dust mites etc., but no room can be totally free of all dust. The sofa is leather and can't harbour dust particles. However, the lounge does collect dust and I still have had trouble breathing every night. Nightmares about being operated on, while unable to breath, AND being awake for the dreamt of operation, have not been too pleasant. I keep getting cramp in my leg as well and the pain wakes me up. It's a bloody nuisance!

What to do about the front and back gardens? They are overgrown with large shrubs that are too big to be manageable. We've taken a few weeks to gradually remove some of the shrubs, one at a time.

Each shrub seems to take about a weekend to prune, lop, dig out, and then take to the tip. I'm trying to psyche myself up into designing a new look back garden. It'll have to be low maintenance, with meandering borders leading the eye to different parts of the garden.

I think that I could divide the back garden into two areas. It is big enough to have a dividing line made up of an arch and reasonably tall shrubs. We would use the area next to the house, and the furthest part could be a quiet zone for just sitting and thinking. We've been visiting garden centres to get ideas. I've taken my digital camera with me so that I can have a long look at items and plants which caught my eye, after we've got home. I'd never remember what I'd seen. Even if I did, I'd get them mixed up.

I got a Diploma in Humanities and Design a few years ago (the very first letters after my name) and I'm trying to remember the salient points of designing a garden. Desire lines and points of interest with architectural plants, are bubbling up from deep in the olde grey matter. Thankfully I haven't thrown any of my notes or text books away. The first task is to find them all!! (in the attic)

The use of a voice recorder is paying dividends. This came more into prominence yesterday. I had an original thought, but by the time I'd found my voice recorder, I'd forgotten the thought. I must make myself carry the voice recorder at all times! I've lost something that I'll never remember. This incident proved the importance of using a voice recorder. I'm really annoyed with my 'memory' for letting me down.

J visits tomorrow and I haven't had the opportunity to put some draft notes together yet. I'll make that my primary task in the morning. BUT, it isn't a task, per se. It brings everything to the fore and I can review 'me.' I have written about a dozen pages from the thoughts which came out of last week's session.

I'm in a no-man's-land area at the moment. Looking at what brought me to this point in my life; considering how and when I'll be able to venture forward; looking at my state of mind and the emotional tightrope walk, that has me hanging on with more hope than conviction. Like I said, a bit of a no-man's-land.

My son returns from the Far East later this evening and I'll be going out shortly to pick him up from the airport. I am not expecting IBS or a Panic Attack to rear their 'orrible, ugly heads. I'll take something to counteract them anyway.

posted by john @ 7:22 pm